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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Not Giving is No Different Than Taking


Congratulations Dan Fogelberg, you have written the worst Christmas song EVER. Take a few seconds to look through the lyrics below. You don't have to read every word...but it will help you fully understand how much this song sucks. This guy is a a douchebag on the absolute highest of levels.

SAME OLD LANG SYNE

By : Dan Fogelberg

Met my old lover in the grocery store
(who calls people "lover")
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve
(a creepy thing to do)
She didn't recognize the face at first
But then her eyes flew open wide
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse
And we laughed until we cried
(It's Christmas Eve and two adults are standing in a grocery store's frozen food section crying at eachother)
Took her groceries to the check-out stand
The food was totalled up and bagged
We stood there lost in our embarrassment
As the conversation dragged
(I wonder why?)
We went to have ourselves a drink or two
But couldn't find an open bar
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car
(Are you serious? What about your families? Act your age. It's Christmas Eve)

We drank a toast to innocense we drank a toast to now
(You drank a toast to now, huh?)
We tried to reach beyond the emptiness
(We're way beyond that Fogelberg)
But neither one knew how

She said she married her an archetect
He kept her warm and safe and dry
(So do sweaters)
She would have liked to say she loved the man
But she didn't like to lie
I said the years had been a friend to her
And that her eyes were still as blue
In those eyes I wasn't sure if I
Saw doubt or gratitude
(I would assume doubt)
She said she saw me in the record store
And that I must be doing well
I said the audience was helping me
But the traveling was hell
(Wait, so this is a true story?)

We drank a toast to innocense we drank a toast to now
We tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how
We drank a toast to innocense we drank a toast to time
Living in our eloquence
(Living in your quality of persuasive, powerful expression?)
Another Old Lang Syne

The beer was empty and our tongues were tired
And running out of things to say
She gave a kiss to me as I got out
And I watched her drive away
Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned into rain.
(That's deep, Dan)

There are alot of Christmas songs out there that are damn good. Old favorites like "Jingle Bell Rock" or even the more recent, "All I Want for Chrsitmas is You" by Mariah Carey. What Dan Fofelberg has done is ruin what radio stations do with the 24 hour Christmas music because always lurking in the wait is this little bastard of a song.