Shopping at Trader Joe's had its ups and downs. It is good that they have low prices on stuff like cereal and hummus but you will pay more for their meats (because they are organic...no they're not). The little carts get on my nerves but I guess if they had regular sized carts the store would be that much harder to navigate. There is always a line that stretches around more than half the store that is as intimidating as that pretty girl in high school who also had confidence. On the plus side, the line moves quickly.
The main problem with Trader Joe's is that people treat it like a singles pick-up joint. You got the guy at the coffee grinder giving advice to a girl on how to grind her beans (that's what she said! Wait...what?). There's the loser in the fruit aisle talking about the bananas he ate off of trees during his visit to fucking Peru with whatever poor son of a bitch girl that makes the mistake of looking in his general direction. Moreover, the employees that work there all seem to see have sex eyes for just about anyone that asks them a question. Hey asshole, they have to ask you questions...you work there! She didn't ask you where the pita chips were because you have unkempt hair and an asshole lip ring; she asked you because it is your job to know this information. You think the guy at Radio Shack thinks he gives people the insta-tight pants because they ask him about ham radios or batteries? No, wake up out of your dream!
Get real peanut butter. No one eats the other shit.
Nice shirts (Double Middle Fingers!)
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The crowded lines ruin the experience for me and make me dream of a life in westchester where I bet its less crowded.
ReplyDeleteIf I remember correctly, Trader Joes was Billy Parkers favorite job and my guess is loved it for the shirts. He would.
I like how you know so much about these yuppie snacks. Manhattan has really gotten to you, Sir.
Ahh, the shirts. They used to let regular crew members wear the more festive button down Hawaiian numbers. Now only Captains and First Mates seem to don them. Oh, did you know that the whole infrastructure of the organization keeps to the nautical theme that has been chosen without any clear purpose?
ReplyDeleteThey definitely encourage you to flirt, if not explicitly. Mostly they just want you to believe you like yr job, unlike Radio Shack, which could give a shit. What better way to instill a sense of false hope than the illusion of a sexual prospect.
The Brooklyn TJ's on Court Street is spacious and without that nightmare of a line.
Didn't expect a shout out in the comments. As Dan our old roommate would say, "Tell Lainy I said what's up."
Maybe the nautical theme is has soemthing to do with the Trader part of their name. When ships from many different countries sailed the seven seas, they would stop at ports and trade their goods(stuff they stole from other lands). Alot of the time people would set up stands where these goods could be traded. This is why I think they have a nautical theme.
ReplyDeleteThe prosecution rests.
Peanut Butter binds me up!
ReplyDeleteMy gut says this Gross Tony lives in Astoria and has a small dog.
ReplyDelete