NASA Screws Up Yet Another Thing: Outer Space Thanksgiving

Thanks for nothing, guys. Go repair something on the outside of the ship, float up there, do nothing and come back home. You rats!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywFfI0-nu00

Outer Space Thanksgiving

There are way too many blogs about people being pregnant or raising kids. When will people understand that other people think their kids are assholes? This world is full of little kids that are ticking time bombs just waiting to be the next groups of douchebags, loser frat boys or men that drink Heinken. Oh you're baby whatever rolled over? Do not create a blog about it. Tell your mother. Because the internet just cannot be bothered.

Robert Deniro and Dustin Hoffman have agreed to make only terrible movies for the rest of their lives.

I don't think Sharon Stone was acting in Casino. I think that is how she lives her life.

Did you know New York has a basketball team?

Thanksgiving is coming up and we all know what the Peanuts crew ate at their Thanksgiving:
Toast, popcorn and what looked like jelly beans.

At the first Thanksgiving they ate:
Cod, Eel, Clams, Lobster, Wild Turkey, Goose, Duck, Crane, Swan, Partridge, Eagles
Meat: Venison, Seal,Wheat Flour, Indian Corn,Pumpkin, Peas, Beans, Onions, Lettuce, Radishes, Carrots, Plums, Grapes, Walnuts, Chestnuts and Acorns.

In outer space they eat:
outer space turkeys and spaghetti.

What's the Latest Way That A Man Can Die Screaming Hallelujah

People that say they are not afraid to die should eat shit and die. You're not afraid to die? Apparently you are also not afraid to be a giant liar. There are children and tribes in the Amazon (the smartest rain forest...by far!) that are afraid to sleep but you walk around telling people you're not afraid to die? Well you have a lot of apologizing to do.
Here is the thing about death, whether you believe in God or Yaweh or Jimi Hendrix, when you die you are going to be scared. If you go to heaven or hell or if the lights just go out and you have no memory of the life you just lived, nothing will ever be the same. Lets take the best option: heaven. Mark my words, like an Apple store when some stupid fucking thing comes out, heaven is full of annoying people. Well meaning neighbors and school principals will be wall to wall in heaven.
However, if you go to hell the devil will make baked beans out of your insides while a Journey cover bands tries to figure out the chords to Don't Stop Believin'. Also everyday will be Halloween,not because it is scary because it would be really annoying.
So the last option is if the lights just go out and that is that. This is a very scary option. At least in hell you can look back on the good things about when you were alive. If you die and there is nothing I am going to be mad....but screaming Hallelujah!!!

2012...Go Jump Up Your Own Ass

2012: is there a scarier group of numbers on Earth? 6666 might be scarier because it is the sign of the beast plus another 6 for more evil. However, I still think 2012 is scarier because of the shows on History channel and I also feel like the extra 6 throws off the balance of 666. The prince of evil demands balance...and blood! But let's bring this back to why we're all here...2012.

So people seem to think that because the Mayans got lazy (big surprise) and put down their sharpies after filling out calendars for thousands of years ahead of their own time the world is going to end in 2012. Perhaps they got distracted while sipping their hot chocolate type drinks or misreading the heavens or stealing ideas from the Egyptians (pyramids), the Spanish (their beautiful language) and the French (Nostradamus). Do I think the world will end in 2012? Good question but the answer is no. There is simply too much money to be made. Do I have advice for those who think the world will end in 2012? Yes, google Y2K...FACE!

Getting back to the devil, does he think the world will end in 2012? No, he does not.

The Good News Continues...

-This picture is hanging in a pizza shop in Yonkers, NY. It is a picture of the man that makes the food behind the counter. He decided that it would be good for his business to include this picture where people would be ordering food products.

-You see those Ashton Kutcher commericals? For those cameras? I mean come on, that guy needs his ass kicked.

-I love Christmas and I love Christmas movies but you cannot release a Christmas movie closer to Halloween than Thanksgiving.

-Dog food commericals that show you fresh cut meat, whole grains and colorful vegetables to prove how good their food is piss me off. If they are wasting such good food on dogs, we have lost our way as a country. I've had a couple dogs in my life and I have seen them eat their own shit and other dog's shit on a number of occasions. In fact, my first dog Max died after he ate a music tape and the ribbon from that tape cut his inside apart like a handful of chinese stars. Dog food should be made of the parts of animals humans find too repulsive to eat. Case closed. You're welcome.

-Very happy the Yankess won. Sign Andy. Sign Damon. Say adios to Matsui (Adios is Spanish for goodbye...which is a weird joke about Matsui being Japanese...good luck figuring that out!).

-Just a heads up for you local news fans out there, Rosana Scotto is quickly becoming a major problem. She does the Good Day show from 7-10 am Fox 5 with Ray Kelly. It looks like I did her plastic surgery and she tries act like she has real New York attitude. Let me tell you something Rosana (If thats real name), I am not buying it; not with that pressed suit and expensive face make-up. Also, drop the loser accent.